In late August through October of 2005 I served as personal protection forces in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, engaging enemy forces on 3 separate occasions. On the second engagement, I was slightly wounded when enemy forces attempted to penetrate the perimeter of the the base. During the encounter, I was struck with a blunt object causing minor injuries. For that action I was awarded the Burgundy puppy heart of valor with star cluster and biscuit.
My fellow Americans of all breeds, creeds, races and colors. I come to you to announce my intention to run as a independent candidate for the office of President of the United States of America.
After examining the the positions taken by the other candidates, I have come to the unmistakable conclusion that they are, simply put full of it, and their fables stink more that my last trip to the backyard.
I promise to face all of the issues with a cold, wet nose and a dogged determination